What are Control Dramas?

We are all domesticated during childhood. Our parents, our teachers, our culture train us to view the world in certain ways. We are given belief systems and systematically taught to think and behave in certain ways. Yes, a lot like the way we domesticate animals.

During childhood and the domestication process we lose our ability to fully experience the mystical. We learn to have less and less faith in our imagination and lose touch with the magical mysteries that once captivated us.

When we are cut off from Spirit and the energy flowing all around us we have to develop coping mechanisms to ensure we get enough energy to feel whole and balanced. Since we forget how to connect with the mystical energy field all around us, we start to seek it elsewhere; so we start stealing it...from one each other.

Author James Redfield proposes that all humans, because of their upbringing, tend toward one of four control dramas. In his book The Celestine Prophecy he explains how stealing energy from one another through manipulation is one of the reasons people suffer in relationships.

There are four dramas, ranging from very aggressive to very passive. Intimidators steal energy from others by threat. Think of a bully whom people fear because he will use brute force to literally take what he wants. It is best to avoid these types.

Interrogators steal energy by judging and questioning. These people find fault with everything. There is no pleasing them, they will always find some way to criticize. Watch out for these people, they often mean well, but can be subtly controlling. You have to stand your ground and not let them steam roll you with their opinions.

Aloof people attract attention and energy to themselves by acting reserved or withdrawing. This is a more passive energy stealing technique, and like interrogators it can be subtle. If you notice this behavior try calling them out, “are you withdrawing because you want me to ask how you are doing? You know you can talk to me about your feelings if you need to, I am here to listen.” If they open up and start talking things may move forward, but if they continue to sulk recognize the control drama and walk away. Space is needed.

People with a poor me drama make us feel guilty and responsible for them. It's very draining to be around people like this for long periods of time. Remember, that helping someone out of guilt may not be really helping them at all. There is a simple rule you can follow to avoid this mistake: never do for someone what they can do for themselves. Empower them, teach them, uplift them, but don't do everything FOR them.

Watch out for these control dramas. These four behaviors are common ways people interact in relationship with one another. All are attempts to control another's behavior. All are forms of energy stealing. Avoid doing them. Avoid being trapped by them. Connect to a higher source of energy and live free!